February was quiet. It was sprinkled with fullness and many emotions. It felt lonely at times, hopeful in others. Lots of questions; not many answers. Peace and rest have begun to flood in while I begin to let go more and more. I’ve included a whole roll of film in this post from start to finish. I haven’t deleted the blurry photos or the ones that aren’t super put together. Some you see are mundane, some are full of laughs. Some speak only to me and others may speak lots to you. Behind these photos are moments; loud and soft. Music, scents, dinner parties in yurts, surprise finds of redwoods in Santa Barbara, our friends new van purchase, beach days with Meredith, random dogs, between takes in the studio with John, new friends, the best tacos, and more. Scroll through, wonder, let them speak, or forget about this post altogether. *most enjoyed while listening to “Palemote” by Slow Meadow*
Liv is one of those people that you know you can trust. We met a while back through some mutual friends and have clicked ever since. Mostly our friendship consists of one of us calling the other when we are in each other’s respective city randomly asking to hang out. Yesterday was one of those days and of course I dropped my plans to hang with Liv. Last night we ate vegan pizza and drank cider with some gals in the hills of Montecito overlooking the ocean. It was the first time since moving back to Santa Barbara that I have felt a sense of community and that meant a lot for me. Surrounded by rad women just enjoying the moment (and the pizza :)). Liv then challenged me to a life or death ping pong game and despite my power back hand…I lost. I know I know…I was just as shocked. This morning we walked to my favorite coffee shop, chatted about our dreams and goals in life, and then made our way to the farmers market with the intention to buy fresh groceries. We got there and soon realized that we wanted plants instead. We walked around tasting fresh medjool dates from a local farm, honey mead, goat cheese, and more. Each stand is ran by a beautiful soul with a beautiful story and I came alive as I talked to each one. There is so much vibrance around us if we wake up to step out of our own box and see someone else’s. I left with more than just a plant today. I left with a fullness that I haven’t had an a very very very long time. I started to remember things that bring me joy and why I light up at certain times around certain people. Liv, you are a gem. Not only a true friend because you carried my avocados in your bag all morning for me but because you listen, you care, and you have a heart full of kindess. Thanks for 12 hours of being revived again. Thanks for finally finding your car keys so we didn’t have to look anymore:) Cheers to today!
When I look back at these photos I immediately feel everything I felt when I was there. I feel the softness of a mothers touch to her baby. I feel the sweet intimacy of family. The beauty of a home. And the silly baby voices we all use to talk to children. This photo is everything to me; a baby’s complete and total trust to receive what she needs from her mom; the very one who was designed to give her just that. This photo was taken on any other normal night in one of my dearest friends homes as they got their daughter ready for bed. I was sitting on the bathroom floor just chatting and observing such beauty from a close distance. This moment was ordinarily profound to see life as it was designed. A child in need, a mom who has love to give, and the gift of trust birthed out of it all. I think we can all receive a bit of healing from seeing this whether you were sitting on cold tile watching it up close or viewing it on an iphone. Lets all take in the softness of love from mother to daughter and show our own self some of that softness today.